Calculus Will Probably Be The Death of Me

Next year I don't know if I'll be able to think about everything but math, because next year.... I'm taking AP Calculus.

No, wait. Let's try that again:
Next year I won't able to think at all because next year.... I'm taking...  AP Calculus


Yes, I realize last year I took honors pre-calculus and naturally the next step is AP Calculus but that doesn't make it any less worrying.

People who've already taken it tell me it's not that bad. However, I don't believe them because:

1. People who took AP Calculus in their junior year of high school probably have a different view of what's 'not that bad'.
2. I think they've been brainwashed. I think AP Calculus brainwashes the mind and smothers the soul.
3. Somehow I managed  to make it through a full year of honor pre-calculus with an A- and only a vague idea of what calculus is. 

Yes, next year I will be fighting the most nefarious of enemies, the cruelest of the cruel, the monster that hides under regular monsters' beds and makes them yell for mommy. It makes X run and hide, shaking in fear as AP Calculus hunts it down, narrowing the range and domain until it has its prey.


More on this later.


P.S. Remember, when you hear "AP Calculus" think:

Some Unicorns Just Eat Quadratic Equations and There's Nothing You Can Do About It

As some of you may already know, sometimes I sit down to do my math work when a remarkable rainbow unicorn leaps out and, then, obviously, I have to spend the next half hour drawing him. As all people know, rainbow unicorn really love quadratic equations. They love to eat them.

Shockingly this excuse does NOT work better then my-dog-ate-my-homework. But how can you do math when a masterful unicorn has appeared before you? How can you say no?

In fact it's the constantly distracting rainbow unicorn that's distracted me from posting recently. Bursting forth and demanding I stop all productive work, and, I have no choice but to comply.